Letter from the Kremlin

Office of The President
Kremlin
Red Square
Moscow
Russia

08/03/2008


Dear Prime Minister,

It is true that Russia and Britain have had differences in the recent past. I mean that spy camera in the rock trick was frankly amateurish but gave me slight chuckle. Then we had minor misunderstanding regarding Litvinenko. How are the two British policemen who tested positive for that polonium – 210 by the way? Incredible coincidence, no?

How silly Prime Minister to attach responsibility to Kremlin. You know the rules, total deniability. You could never make it stick, maybe in 1800s but now your country is little and Russia is World leader. We have oil and the gas and you have cheap Danish lager and very thirsty, how do you call them? Ah yes, yobbos. Abramovitch , he keep me informed. He very happy as now exclusive importer of cheap Danish lager!

But I digress Prime Minister. We have been watching your control techniques of population. You have learned well from old KGB strategy. As you are finding out it takes time. In Russia we were quicker because we had no elections so no consequences for leadership. We control media so no problem for arresting political oppositions and no how do you say....ah! yes, no worries about ridiculous human rights violations.

In Britain not so easy yet but am impressed by stealth tactics employed by your government to achieve same ends. You have done well to, how do you say, dumb down population and create political apathy. Very important step in process of population control.

Allow you to pass even more control measures with only minor protest from stupid bloggers and like. Soon you can censor them too when you have your people on inside. Easy to remove articles opposing party then but you still have some work to do. I am not happy about criticisms of my leadership and people calling me a megalomaniac and such bad things. I hope you will stop this soon if you want gas from Mother Russia and your oil don’t forget is soon running out.

I have meeting now with my new President Medvedev . That was good trick no, to choose puppet for President? The Russians they love me. Who is the big daddy now?

I will write again soon. We have much to discuss. Keep up the good work Comrade.

Sincerely,

Prime Minister (President) Putin