Letter from the Kremlin

Office of The President
Kremlin
Red Square
Moscow
Russia

08/03/2008


Dear Prime Minister,

It is true that Russia and Britain have had differences in the recent past. I mean that spy camera in the rock trick was frankly amateurish but gave me slight chuckle. Then we had minor misunderstanding regarding Litvinenko. How are the two British policemen who tested positive for that polonium – 210 by the way? Incredible coincidence, no?

How silly Prime Minister to attach responsibility to Kremlin. You know the rules, total deniability. You could never make it stick, maybe in 1800s but now your country is little and Russia is World leader. We have oil and the gas and you have cheap Danish lager and very thirsty, how do you call them? Ah yes, yobbos. Abramovitch , he keep me informed. He very happy as now exclusive importer of cheap Danish lager!

But I digress Prime Minister. We have been watching your control techniques of population. You have learned well from old KGB strategy. As you are finding out it takes time. In Russia we were quicker because we had no elections so no consequences for leadership. We control media so no problem for arresting political oppositions and no how do you say....ah! yes, no worries about ridiculous human rights violations.

In Britain not so easy yet but am impressed by stealth tactics employed by your government to achieve same ends. You have done well to, how do you say, dumb down population and create political apathy. Very important step in process of population control.

Allow you to pass even more control measures with only minor protest from stupid bloggers and like. Soon you can censor them too when you have your people on inside. Easy to remove articles opposing party then but you still have some work to do. I am not happy about criticisms of my leadership and people calling me a megalomaniac and such bad things. I hope you will stop this soon if you want gas from Mother Russia and your oil don’t forget is soon running out.

I have meeting now with my new President Medvedev . That was good trick no, to choose puppet for President? The Russians they love me. Who is the big daddy now?

I will write again soon. We have much to discuss. Keep up the good work Comrade.

Sincerely,

Prime Minister (President) Putin

Back to Africa

The rain battered the tin roof like a demented drummer endlessly stuck on the same rhythm, constant and deafening but somehow hypnotic. The tropical storm bought relief from the heat and dust of the last few days. Jack lay in bed feeling secure, protected from the elements like a baby in its mother's womb. A massive drum roll of thunder played overhead, followed by a bright flash of lightening that lit up the night sky, as though God had briefly lit some monumental torch, to better see his way through the driving rain. Jack sighed and drifted off into unconcerned sleep.

Balthazar woke him at 7 o'clock with a cup of tea as he did every day. That early morning cuppa, somehow made all the difference, providing the necessary fuel to kick start the metabolism. He rose and walked nude into the bathroom. He hated pyjamas. Wearing pyjamas in bed was like wearing a three piece suit to the office, stifling and unnecessary. Thank God, he no longer had to do that. Hell, he thought, bed was the only place where one could be truly free anymore. Working in Africa had its advantages and no pyjamas or suits, were two of them. Yes he was back, back where he belonged, away from the spin and bullshit of London, Paris or New York. God it felt good.

Showered and refreshed, he walked out onto the balcony and looked out over the rooftops and streets of the town and on across the lake, to the hills on the other side. It was a sight that never tired him. Anywhere else on Earth, he thought to himself, you'd have to be a millionaire to enjoy a view like this. He sat down at the table and dug heartily into papaya, eggs and bacon and the best Arabica coffee in the world. He sat back, lost in his thoughts and lit a cigarette, which he inhaled slowly and deeply between sips of coffee.

Bujumbura, like Africa itself, was a tapestry of paradoxes, a simple, pretentious, ugly and yet attractive place. There were no skyscrapers here, just the two storied, largely white painted, flat roofed buildings typical of many towns and cities in Africa, Asia or South America. There weren't even any traffic lights, except the one unblinking set in the Avenue de la Paix, testament to a brief but disastrous flirtation with sophistry.

The uneven pavements that lead one down the main streets, gave way intermittently to hollows and humps of compressed red earth which were constantly re-sculptured by the endless stamp of feet, the stinging chisel of tropical rain and the dehydrating heat, of the equatorial sun. The whole place was in a constant state of repair and disrepair.

Embedded in the surrounding hills overlooking Lake Tanganyika and the Ruzizi Plain were the elegant and spacious houses rented by diplomats, NGOs', technical assistants and successful entrepreneurs. Reflecting in the sunlight out to the north east, were the tin roofs of the poorer shanty dwellers. Scattered everywhere was the fertile green canopy of banana trees, date palms, avocado, mango and papaya trees, whose fruits swelled the market stalls in the town centre and the breakfast tables of rich and poor alike.

The ample gardens of the well to do expatriates were awash with the colour of hibiscus and bougainvillea plants, the scent of moon flowers and yesterday today and tomorrow shrubs. Down below the network of tarmac roads in and around the town centre, gave way to rutted gravel tracks as they headed into the dusty Asian and African quarters, where even weeds struggled to get a grip in the hard trampled barren earth. Yes, Bujumbura had the alluring scent and charm of Africa writ large in every pot holed boulevard and paint flaking wall of its being.

Thanks to the rain, the hills on the opposite shoreline, some 10-15 kms away, were clearly visible. They rose almost vertically out of the lake to 12,000 feet above sea level at the highest point. At their base lay the Zairian town of Uvira, a sprawling African township with it's mix of slum dwellings, traders shops, pot holed roads and the inevitable army barracks. Getting there though was another matter. Crossing the border inevitably meant paying the officials, an unofficial tariff! The fact that your paper work was in order was an irrelevance. The immigration and customs officers could always invent a "new regulation when it suited them.

The then favourite when all else had failed to extract the required bribe, was the "mandatory AIDS certificate" showing that one was not infected. Short of armed robbery any means would do. Unpleasant though this was, it was inevitable given the fact that government officials were seldom paid. They were left to "eek out" their living any way they could. As a result they created their own rules and tariffs with impunity and wily imagination. They were good at it too. If only their noteworthy initiative, could have been put to better use.

This was one aspect of Africa that Jack found hard to stomach and Zaire was perhaps the most anarchic country in Africa, pressing Nigeria, Liberia and Sierra Leone hard for this dubious honour.

To be fair there were other countries in Africa that he would never consider visiting either, under any circumstances. The Americans found Somalia particularly unwelcoming when the U.S. army paid a short visit a few years previously. If the American military could not hack it, Jack thought it was probably advisable to give the place a wide berth.

Angola had been at war for a decade as had Mozambique. Yes, there may have been worse countries than Zaire perhaps but Jack could see no good reason to go there for all that, if he could help it. The border was only 20 kilometres or so from Bujumbura but that was close enough for Jack. Natural diplomat though he was, he was not good at being humble when confronted by a bunch of drunken, greedy, obdurate border "officials" no matter how alluring the country on the other side.

Burundi though was another kettle of fish and there were plenty in Lake Tanganyika. It was a beautiful country of endless rolling hills, covered in a patchwork of small plots planted with maize, sorgem, beans, potatoes, bananas and other food crops. Eucalyptus trees were planted widely on the summits of the hills and along the road sides. Being one of the most densely populated countries in Africa, much of the indigenous vegetation had sadly, long since disappeared but there were still a few patches of precious, glorious equatorial forest scattered around the country.

The jewel in the crown though, was Lake Tanganyika, embedded like a priceless glittering jewel in the huge basin of the Ruzizi plain, part of the magnificent Rift Valley. The lake is the second deepest in the world and stretches southwards for 800 kilometres into Zambia. To be on the lake at the setting of the sun, is to be overwhelmed by its beauty and overpowered by the almost mystical power of Africa. The spirit is forever touched.

Breakfast was always a time of contemplation for Jack and it was always with reluctance that he sipped the last of his coffee before leaving for the office. Yes it was good to be back, very good.

Dear Mr. Cameron

By common consent this country is in a dreadful mess. Nearly three hundred thousand people are leaving it each year and this total will without a shadow of a doubt, rise in the coming years, unless there is a sea change in the socio-economic climate. I would further suggest that many of our best and brightest citizens will be among the emigrants.

Britain is a much less agreeable, less compassionate, less respectful, less educated and much more aggressive society than it was 20, 30 or forty years ago, when despite its economic failings, it was still the freest, most liberating and best democracy in the World.

People were generally polite and respectful of each other and the law. The police force was integrated into and a vital part of local communities. The “bobbies” were known by name and also knew many people in their communities by name which created a healthy discourse and information exchange. The “bobbies” had their noses to the ground and knew where to look when trouble occurred. It was a mutually rewarding partnership for both the police and communities and performed a vital social link that no amount of intrusive CCTV cameras can hope to replace or surpass.

Bobbies on the beat prevent crime. CCTV cameras simply record crime. Judging by the amount of crimes caught on CCTV, it is clear that they are obviously not an effective deterrent. They most certainly do not prevent some innocent person sitting quietly on a bench being stabbed by drink fuelled, foul mouthed yobs looking for trouble. We have all seen the CCTV coverage but it was no help to the young man in question. CCTV has recorded countless muggings, robberies and worse and although many of those responsible were later caught after the fact, the cameras were impotent when it came to preventing the crimes which is little comfort to the victims.

Police in the streets is the only deterrent that actually works. You know it. I know it. The whole country knows it and yet the legitimate wishes of the majority in this country are ignored by all of the political parties who whilst they pay lip service to the principle do not actually do anything about it in practice.

The people of this country are sick to the back teeth of the ineptitude of successive governments, failing to get to grips with policing in general and community policing in particular. We recognise that it is not the fault of ordinary policemen and women but of their cow-towing superiors who acquiesce far too meekly to their incompetent, unthinking, intellectually superficial political masters who seemingly have lost all touch with reality and common sense.

The question to you, Mr Cameron, is what if anything are you finally going to do about it and what are you going to do to roll back this horrendously intrusive surveillance state that has mushroomed to cover up the inadequacies of government policies in respect of policing and law and order? What we now have is the laziest and worst of all solutions, a burgeoning police state which is an affront to the liberty, privacy and dignity of the people of this country and why many are leaving.

Incidentally, it is also an abuse of power to install ultra-sonic "Mosquito" equipment permanently at any site, in order to deter youngsters 25 and below from hanging around certain areas. In so doing you are punishishing the innocent and the guilty alike. This goes against every principle of justice in this country. This equipment should be carried by mobile police units and used only to target trouble makers when appropriate.

It is a fundamental mistake by the people of this country to give or cede any more power to the state than is absolutely imperative because as with the atom bomb, someone, somewhere down the line will abuse it. That is already happening as I have just said in the previous paragraph. So again, I finish by asking what are you going to do about it? Your electoral success will depend on your answer to this and other questions many want answered and which I will try to extrapolate in the coming weeks and months?

EU Foetus

What does the EU Treaty mean for Britain? It means the same thing to us as it does to every other EU State i.e the quickening end of the nation states and the omnipresent birth of an EU super state.

The EU can be likened to a foetus that is 3 months pregnant and growing, brought about by a shotgun wedding forced upon the bride and groom without their will or consent by a monstrous father who cares only about his own social standing.

Welcome to London the county capital of England.

Common Purpose

Interested in conspiracies? What do you make of this?

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=3664960863576873594

The AU (American Union)

Many people spuriously and unthinkingly use the USA as an analogy for the EU. It is of course anything but. A true analogy would be a union of North, Central and South American states where the capital would be Nicuragua and the central bank would be in Buenos Aries. As with the EU there would be a mix of language and culture. Now who in their right mind thinks that such a union would work or that the USA would go along with it for one second? That is why we must oppose it.

Brit Exodus

Why, asked the BBC news broadcast last night are so many Brits leaving the country? Is it the cost of living, cost of housing, law and order? Needless to say no concrete answer was forthcoming. I would suggest it’s all of those and one might add, gridlocked roads, feral youth, the plethora of speed and CCTV cameras, the appalling treatment of the elderly and the disabled, overcrowded trains, television drivel, gutter tabloid press, MRSA and other killer bugs in our hospitals, lack of NHS dentists, low standard of education, immigration and on and on.

All the above contribute to a Britain that is now so mediocre at every level it is downright depressing. I am surprised anyone is still here. Were I in a position to leave I would not hesitate but sadly my wife’s Parkinson’s precludes that we return to hotter and brighter climes. Happily for them, two of our three children enjoy lives in the tropics as did my wife and I for over twenty years. My eldest has vowed never to return to the UK to live and I do not blame him at all.

This was all summed up for me as I watched England play Germany at the new “fortress” Wembley, last night. I felt no passion, no involvement and I was bored to tears as England passed the ball backwards, sideways and occasionally forwards in such dim-witted unimaginative fashion, I lost the will to live. So lacking in flair and imagination, were they, one wonders if they or those that coach them know anything about anything! They certainly do not seem to know where the goal is. In the end I was cheering on Germany.

40 years ago, this was without a doubt the best country in the World to live in. There was a great community spirit. People by and large respected the law, were courteous and no one spied on anyone or had to carry identity cards or give DNA samples to the police (as is proposed in the future) irrespective of whether they had committed a crime or not. Local bobbies on the beat were part of the community and had their ears to the ground. We were truly free. We left our doors and windows open when we nipped down to the local shop. Remember them! We had faith in the justice system and even our politicians. The BBC reported rather than opined on the news and was respected all over the World as a beacon of truth and dependency. True our cars were lousy but the traffic flowed. Yes, we still made British cars in those days and much more beside. Now all we make is trouble. To those including Gordon Brown who say Britain will become a world leader in the new bio-technologies, etc., I say garbage. I speak to Indians who speak better English and are better educated than most young Brits. Asia is and will knock us into a cocked hat and sit on it. There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that our mediocrity is or will be, a match for their drive, ambition and flair. If we woke up to day and pulled finger, it would still be too late.

Kids were generally well brought up and well behaved. Now we have kids stabbing and shooting kids. We have the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in the Western World. Half our 11 year olds can barely read or write which means half our twenty year olds are semi-illiterate. Many respect no-one and nothing. We have more people in prison than our continental neighbours. We used to be able to enjoy a night out on the town without being insulted, accosted or beaten up by hordes of ill-mannered drunken youths. Now most of us steer well away, prisoners in our own streets, towns and cities.

Is it any wonder 300,000 people left the UK permanently last year? How many others left that we do not know about I wonder? Government statistics are now a bad joke at which no one is laughing. Of course the BBC did not mention any of this because right now it’s not on their spin chart. It’s off the agenda. To those who are leaving or have left I say, good on you, bon voyage and the best of luck. Will the last one leaving turn out the lights.

Media Illusions

The BBC like other television companies have been caught with their trousers down practising the ancient art of deception, misleading the public, editing programs to suit the political agendas of its/their producers.

We need a sharp wake up call. We are all as brainwashed as any North Korean. Like the North Koreans, we are constantly being fed illusions. The only difference is the manner and nature of the methods used but the objective is the same, mind control. The major difference is that Western methods of brainwashing use more modern and sophisticated tools. In North Korea it is more simple. The people are starved of all information other than that which the state chooses to give. In the West we are inundated with information from politicians, the media and the marketing men, much of it spun to obtain the desired reaction from the masses. The nature of the spin differs only in degree depending on whether it is initiated by the left or right. Irrespective of the messages being transmitted they are for the most part a distortion of the truth. The USSR is/was evil. America is/was the beacon of goodness.

If you believe the Hollywood version of history, America won two world wars on its own and according to the marketing men, junk food and fizzy drinks are desirable and harmless. I could go on and on but the fact is that very little of the information we are fed is the whole truth. We are fed illusions spun to be perceived as the truth, by those who hold the reigns of power and who will do almost anything to maintain their status quo. Self evidently, this has very little to do with democracy and everything to do with the exercise and maintenance of power, by a self promoting elite. What chance does an ordinary citizen with little or no wealth or influence have of breaking into this club. It is clear to anyone who observes the world that money is the key to power. Those without substantial wealth have little or no hope of ever becoming President of The United States or Prime Minister of Britain.

Communists are not bad people because they are communist, anymore than Americans are good because they are democrats but this is the illusion we have been fed. America did not win World War II alone as Hollywood would have us believe. In fact America has never won a war on its own, not even the War of Independence where the French were their allies. America lost the Vietnam War and was unable to subdue a renegade war lord in Somalia. Fifty percent of the troops that landed on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day were British. Had Britain not held out , albeit with the logistical support of the U.S., there would never have been a D-Day landing because there would have been nowhere from which to launch the invasion. The truth is that it took the combined efforts of many nations to overcome Nazi Germany.

Likewise, America has never dominated the world nor ever could. We need look no further than Germany, Vietnam, Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq to know that World domination is an unattainable pipe dream. It's no more possible for America than it is for Bin Laden, China or India. World domination has historically been an aspiration of many including the Neo-Conservatives. America won the Cold War. Ergo America is the world's only remaining super power. It may have super power but it is no match for the rest of the world. It is not even capable of imposing its will on the Middle East let alone Europe, China and India. No, America is not a self contained planet. It is just an island amongst others and it needs the rest of the world as much as the rest of the world needs it. We are all interdependent. We all need each other. That is the real truth America.

The media no longer simply reports the news. It opines on the news and even makes the news. They dictate what we will see, what we will read and what we should think. The media no longer give us thoughtful drama or unbiased documentaries. They give us opinions. They feed the masses a constant drip of so called reality TV drivel that has been carefully manipulated to produce sensationalism. It has absolutely nothing to do with reality. Newspapers bow at the altar of celebrity which they themselves have created and fill their pages with endless kiss and tell tales of inconsequential tittle tattle to occupy our dumbed down, empty little heads. More people know the name of the winner of Big Brother than the name of the Opposition party leaders. Why? What does that say about them, us and our society in general? Who is behind this drive towards intellectual bankruptcy and why? The truth is that the media is in the hands of the rich and the powerful. It is there to serve its own agenda and to make money by concentrating on the banal, the sensational, the wicked. It chooses to appeal to the baser instincts of humanity rather than serve as a tool of enlightenment. In truth we cannot trust the media and we all know it, but do they? Are they now becoming victims of their own deceptions?

And no, junk food and fizzy drinks are not desirable or healthy. They are bad for us. They make us fat, raise our cholesterol levels and give us heart attacks. Nevertheless, somebody, lots of people actually, have made massive fortunes by selling a susceptible public an illusion of something quite different. If this is not mass brainwashing, what is? And let us not even begin to talk about the tobacco or drug industries or we will be here for ever. Suffice it to say we have been sold hogwash and more worryingly we swallowed it, hook line and sinker. So how hard can it be to manipulate minds? Its obviously very easy and the mind benders know it.

However, like all castles built on sand, lies and damn lies, they eventually succumb to the tide of truth. Half truths and lies cannot hide forever from the logic of reason. That is why the Neo-Conservative conspiracy is doomed to the same fate as the communist conspiracy and every other conspiracy built on deception. When will all the would be comptrollers, realise that social adhesion, respect for authority and the building of a common destiny never has and never can be built on lies, deceit and illusions. When will they realise that real good can only prevail if truth and integrity prevail and nothing worth a pittance will ever come from a philosophy, of spin, half truths and outright deceit. Or could it be that the comptrollers are not really interested in real good but only what they perceive is "good" for them?

They are deceiving themselves however. Fundamental truths are indestructible. They are written into the code of life itself and are there for all who have eyes, to see. Those of us who do see through the mirages, understand whilst we are all different, we are nevertheless all part of a single humanity. We know it is only possible to bring nations and cultures together by building bridges, not destroying them. We know that the respect of people for their governments can only be obtained by governments who behave and act with integrity and honesty. Political hypocrisy and double standards will never engender anything but a loss of respect for its practioners. Far from creating orderly societies, such policies can only fuel anger, frustration and a loss of faith in authority, thus engendering the collapse of social adhesion rather than its consolidation. A truth built on a lie will always be a lie. It is a contradiction in terms that will not stand the light of day or the test of time.

Yes we all need to wake up and fast before the castles in the sand are washed away by the tides of true reality.

Impact of Terrorism!

I received this in my email box and thought it worth sharing. Amused me anyway!
______________________

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Fear Factor

It is strange how the powers that be appear to continually create a fear syndrome, a false enemy in order to unite unruly and rebellious citizens behind a common cause. In the recent past we have had the "threat" of communism in the form of the Soviet Union followed by multiple health scares, obesity, second hand smoke, bird flu, MRSN, high cholesterol and every thing in between. On top of that we have the threat of terrorism, nuclear holocost, global freezing (in the 60's), now 50 years later we have global warming.

In the meantime everyone is trading with China despite human rights abuses. Odd that we supplied Saddam Hussein and Bin Laden with arms to fight proxy wars, that Noriega was at first an ally and then a threat, Marcos, Mobutu and Idi Amin too, but to name a few. It suggests there is at the very least, a lot of duplicity about or worse, the ruling elite are either too clever by far, for their own good and ours or simply have no insight or understanding as to where their actions will ultimately lead. It seems to me that what we really need to fear is the myopia of those we trust to govern us.